a lot has happened for the past months.
A LOT.
I found love.*
I lost someone.
Still in the process of recuperating from the shock. from the loss...
Still unsure of the emotions locked up inside.
All i know now, is that i miss her.
I miss her smile, her laugh, the way her hand feels, the sound of her voice...
I miss her presence.
It's sad that i only realized how much she is a part of my life when i lost her.
I regret not hugging her enough. Nor telling her how much she means to me.

I miss her.
I lost my lola. But I lost her to Someone up there. So it's fair.
She's happy, i know.
We have another angel watching over us.

*so not the time to write about it...

on weddings... and proposals...

i just got home from my cousin's wedding. i was one of the secondary sponsors. grabe. ang tatanda na namin. when a decade ago, i can still remember, my cousins and i would pretend to be in a club, with flashlights as our disco lights and a dance mix tape we had to flip to side a and b now and then. feeling cool na kami nun. haha.

everytime i watch the bride walking down the aisle with that song (which i love, from My Sassy Girl) in the background, i always get teary-eyed. I just get this feeling of so much hope and happiness for the couple getting married. It's like everything falls into place when you get wed. Mushy ko no? Hay. But of course, it never does fall into place (bitter? haha!).

my other cousin naman, proposed to his girlfriend the other day. i got teary-eyed for the second time today, when i saw the ring and when i heard the story how he proposed. hay again.

now, i'm dressed in a gown, with make-up and all (which i did myself!). la lang, it just sinks in how old i am already... and STILL (for the love of God!) single!